


Mirrors

by 7Fanfer7, Brorifles (Kyloisadisneyprincess)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Crushes, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-19 00:55:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29742531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7Fanfer7/pseuds/7Fanfer7, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyloisadisneyprincess/pseuds/Brorifles
Summary: Fun Fact! the official name for Zeb's fancy snow boots is: Cold Reducing Outer Covering Steppers
Relationships: Alexsandr Kallus & Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios, Alexsandr Kallus/Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios
Comments: 5
Kudos: 24
Collections: Kalluzeb Mini-Bang 2021





	1. Chapter 1

Zeb was trying extremely hard to maintain his focus.

The thick and frigid air of the hanger was eerily still around him, and his breath blew misty clouds onto the datapad that was sitting in his lap. The display had an engineering diagram of the X-wing he was sitting under, zoomed into the damaged wing he was attempting to diagnose. He scrunched up his brow at the blueprint of the troublesome ship and glared in frustration.

His focus began to falter as he heard it again. It was laughter. Somewhere close by in the hanger, he heard Alexsander Kallus laughing. He smiled to himself as he tried to refocus on the datapad, but to no avail. His concentration and will to keep focus finally broke, and he looked up to seek out the man. He scanned around the icy cold hanger and found him standing several ships down eagerly engaged in conversation with a mechanic that Zeb didn’t know. Zeb looked on, transfixed. 

Zeb never expected him to fit in so easily, make friends, and make small talk; the man he’d somehow managed to make his friend and kept on with for several years now. He marveled at Kallus, standing and laughing under an X-wing in the cold hanger of Echo Base. He never expected Kallus to warm up to the rebellion like he had. The man he knew before had changed so much, and from what Zeb could tell, only for the better. Over the years, it seemed that deep down the man who had once been a strict and orderly imperial had a genuinely cheerful and joyous side buried under all that militant conditioning.

The parts diagram lay abandoned in his lap as he looked towards the source of the mirthful laughter. Something about Kallus’s beaming face and honest laugh always seemed to drag Zeb’s attention away. Zeb’s smile widened as he watched, marveling at how Kallus both looked and acted like any other rebel. His sandy blonde hair had been free of any gel or product since joining the rebellion, and at some point, he’d confessed to Zeb that he greatly enjoyed the Rebellion's lack of strict uniforms. Even after several years now, the novelty of watching his friend laugh had never worn off. He sighed, the warmth of the ache in his chest making the cold air of Hoth seem palatable.

An unrecognizable feeling wormed its way through his thoughts after several seconds as he gazed at his friend. He became self-conscious as he realized how much he watched Kallus, how much time he spent observing him, and how easily the man’s laughter seemed to captivate. The dull ache he was intimately familiar with returned, as the possibility that Kallus looked at him, in the same way, taunted him in the form of another listless daydream. He brushed the thought aside and looked back down to the boring diagram, giving a small effort to regain his focus. Instead, he thought of why Kallus might look at him like that, and became acutely aware of himself, wondering how others saw him from the outside. How  _ Kallus _ saw him. 

Zeb had decided at some point that the feeling was formed from a sense of appreciation for Kallus. He knew he liked to look at Kallus, for whatever reasons, but instead of analyzing why he was staring or why he spent so much time watching his laughing friend, he found himself wondering if Kallus ever looked at him the same way, as unidentified and undefined as that way may be. 

Suddenly, without a queue or warning, Kallus looked over to where Zeb was sitting. Their eyes met, and the cold shame washed over him as he realized he’d been looking for minutes and he’d been spotted staring. Kallus gave him the most honest and heartfelt looking smile, and Zeb felt himself return it instinctively, unable to stop himself. He was astounded at how fast his embarrassment had been swept away as he gave Kallus a friendly wave. In the distance, it looked like Kallus was giving the mechanic a friendly farewell. He began to approach Zeb, who watched blissfully.

_ He looks so happy when he smiles. I wonder what I look like to him _ . 

~

Zeb’s realization had happened three days prior. Since then, he couldn’t stop staring at his own reflection, something he never had the habit of doing before. He stood in the corner of the common area inside the  _ Ghost _ , wholly absorbed in his own reflection, testing out various toothy grins and half-smiles in the mirror that hung there, and trying to imagine what seemed most appealing to someone else. Engrossed by his own reflection, he was uncharacteristically oblivious to the soft footsteps approaching from behind him. 

“Zeb?” Hera asked, startling him as she spoke. “What are you doing?”

“Ah! Nothing!” He yelped, turning around to face her. Hera’s arms were crossed and she had a look of thorough amusement from observing his charades in front of the small mirror. 

“I’ve never seen you look in that mirror before,” she said. After a second Hera looked Zeb up and down with slowly mounting concern. “Wait, are you hurt?”

Zeb chuckled. “Nah, Hera, I’m fine.” He gave her a lopsided smirk in an attempt to convince her and gave a great internal sigh relief that she hadn’t quickly deduced why he’d been glaring into the mirror at his own reflection. 

Her concern faded to an inquisitive stare, a brow arched. “Did something happen?”

He faltered and thought for a moment. His mind was instantly drawn to the evening several days prior in the hangar where he watched Kallus laughing with an acquaintance. The thought dissipated as he realized that wasn’t what she meant. 

“No,” He said casually, “just wondering what other people see is all.” She looked unconvinced, wearing a skeptical half-smile. 

“Hera. Really, I’m okay.” He laughed. “I was just thinking about if I should smile more is all. There’s so many new faces and I want to make a good impression.” 

Something about his statement felt half true. He did want to impress the other rebels, but he knew there was one person, in particular, he thought about when he wondered what other people thought about him, and maybe about how he looked and how he smiled. He didn’t want to admit that to Hera though, It seemed too specific.

Hera’s lips curled to a sly smile, and before she could say anything Zeb let out a small murmured “What?” 

She grinned at him and cocked an eyebrow. “It seems to me like you’re trying to impress someone.”

“No! What? I just want- look I just want to-”

“Zeb it’s fine.” She interrupted him. “Just be yourself. I’m sure the rebellion and whoever you’re trying to look good for will like you just how you are. 

“I know, I know.” He groaned at her lecture. 

“We all do already, so don’t force yourself to be someone you aren’t.” She looked so genuinely loving, and whatever annoyance was building up in Zeb had dissipated. 

His ears flattened a bit, and instead of objecting to her claims again, he sighed with defeat. Zeb thought that he was probably right, as usual. 

“Thanks.” He said, trying to sound more friendly. He took a deep breath and sighed while Hera watched him, and after a moment, he decided to open up. 

“It’s different,” he began, picking up an air of contemplative seriousness, “being around so many humans, and well, not being one myself.” He scratched his neck slowly. 

Whatever Hera had been expecting, what Zeb had said seemed to not be it at all, and she gave him a slight frown. “It is,” she said surely and hesitantly. “For the most part, I don’t really think about it anymore though.” 

Zeb looked down at the floor, temporarily absorbed by his insecurity. As the rebellion had moved to Hoth, he’d found himself around a multitude of new faces, both human and nonhuman alike. It had never completely stopped on Yavin-4, but the refreshing reminder that he was different in the form of glances and whispers never failed to unseat his nerves and self imagine just a bit. 

“Zeb.” Hera’s voice interrupted his insecure ruminations. “I can understand feeling out of place, but I also know people look at me differently than they do with you.” She spoke sympathetically and carefully, and her words of observation hung in the air between them, and Zeb looked back up to meet her kind gaze. “I’m not going to pretend the experiences we have are the same, but The rebellion is where we can help fight for equality though,” she finished. 

“I know. I’m happy here.” He nodded, and this time, the truth of the words made his own smile come easy.

“And don't try to act more like a human to please people, okay?” She said flippantly “Even if you really like them,” she teased, returning to her sly and knowing grin.

He scowled. “What? I’m not doing this because of anyone specific,” he argued again.

“Uh-huh.” She sounded unconvinced. “Either way, try not to worry too much about it.” 

“Alright, alright.” He laughed heartily. 

She shook her head at him. “I have to go pick Jacen up from the daycare,” she said as she moved to walk towards the cargo hold. I’ll see you tonight though?” she asked over her shoulder. 

He turned to watch her as she left. “Sounds good. Yeah, I’ll see you tonight.”

“Sweet!” She called back.

Before Zeb could get absorbed into staring at his own reflection again, or sit down to brood on what it meant and how he felt about himself, and others, and Kallus, he glanced up at the chrono in the corner and realized it was almost time for Kallus to be getting off work at the intelligence office.

Their schedules on Echo Base had remained mostly the same, but the drive Kallus had since joining the rebellion hadn’t diminished, and more often than not, he worked much later than Zeb did. When they first arrived on Hoth, Zeb would either comm Kallus at roughly the same time of day, or send him a message on his datapad. As many extra hours as Kallus worked, he usually managed to be consistent, and Zeb showing up to greet him as he got off work had become the norm. If there was any sort of hold-up for any reason, Kallus would have let him know. With a quick glance at the datapad resting on the table and a clear comm, Zeb realized he had better hurry. 

As Zeb rounded the corner that led to the high command and intelligence office, he slowed slightly as he passed the briefing room. On any other day he paid this hallway just as much heed as any other, but today, he noticed something he hadn’t before. Along the upper half of the hallway, for a good twenty meters from each side of the doors to the briefing room, large reflective panels hung on the wall that Zeb could see himself in perfectly. They had always been there, but this was the first day Zeb had paid enough attention to consciously notice they existed. He carefully slowed to a stop and looked back at himself in one of the large reflective panes, studying his features carefully like he’d done earlier. 

He thought of Kallus laughing, and thought of what Hera had said earlier, and he scanned the shapes and stripes of his face slowly. He looked confidently at himself, and for the first time in a long time, felt happy for how different he looked, how unique he was. He broke away from the mirror and looked down the hallway. As if summoned by his stray thoughts and daydreams, Kallus stood at the far end of the long tunnel, hands on his hips. Zeb grinned as the small affectionate tingle in his chest returned upon seeing him, and strode down the hallway to meet his best friend.

“You made it,” he said cheerfully as Zeb approached. 

“O’ course. I’m not late, am I?” He asked, his voice twinged with uncertainty.

“Nah,” Kallus said casually, “What were you doing back there?” He looked over Zeb’s shoulder down the hallway to see where he had stopped.

“Oh,” Zeb laughed “Nothing important. I just noticed all those panels in the hallway look like mirrors.” 

Kallus raised an eyebrow and gave him an amused look. “I suppose they do. Shall we?” He gestured to the passageway to his left that led to the mess hall.

Zeb nodded. “Yeah. Hungry?” 

“Yes, very.”

They made their way through the twisted frozen tunnels. As they walked, their breath splayed out in billowy white clouds in front of them, and again it registered to Zeb just how cold it was on Hoth. He glanced over at his companion and studied his new outfit, a dark blue and poofy fitting jacket, insulating and warm, with a fringe of fur around the hood. Zeb had been issued a lighter coat on their arrival, but seldom wore it inside. The boots, on the other hand, he found an absolute necessity. The rebellion had issued him custom-made insulated rubbery pads that fit over the bottom of his feet, drastically cutting back on the cold that emanated through the floor of packed ice and snow of the base. He’d adjusted quickly, realizing trading the dexterity of his feet for a little more warmth was a necessary one. 

“Everything decent today?” Zeb asked as they walked through the winding tunnels.

“Besides the cold, yes,” Kallus hummed playfully, earning a chuckle out of Zeb. 

Zeb waved a hand around the tunnel “Well at least nothing’s tried to eat us yet.” He leered at Kallus with a taunting smile. 

Kallus gave him a skeptical look. “Yet. You heard what happened to skywalker?” His tone was light, betraying more gossipy thoughts than ones of actual fear.

“Yeah,” Zeb shot back, “don’t think we have to worry much about those around here though.” 

As they stepped into the vast hanger of the base he looked around at the ships and equipment scattered around. Much more welcoming than the frozen rock they’d been stranded on. 

They slowed as they approached the corner of the hanger. The  _ Millenium Falcon _ was docked here and was looming over them, its impressive frame dwarfing them as they slowed to a stop in front of it. “True, looks like our frozen adventure is a little more civilized this time around,” Kallus said slyly. 

Zeb laughed heartily, wondering what had gotten Kallus in such an upbeat and playful mood. It was seldom he brought up their time on Bahryn, and Zeb assumed it was out of some sense of awkwardness or embarrassment. To hear him joke so openly about it was refreshing to Zeb. He looked at Kallus fondly, who was giving Han Solo’s prized ship a thorough study. 

“It’s a pretty neat ship, I have to say.” Zeb joined Kallus to inspect it. 

“Hmm.” Kallus put his hand to his chin. “I like the  _ Ghost _ better,” he said after several seconds. 

“Oh? Well, that’s just because-”

Suddenly there was white everywhere. Dancing white particles of snow obscured Zeb’s Vision momentarily. Zeb’s heart dropped in a panic as Kallus grunted and collapsed beside him.

“Imp!” a shrill voice yelled from the distance, obscured by ships and piles of crates 

“Kriff! Kallus!” Zeb got down on one knee beside him. Kallus had caught himself as he stumbled, and was on his hands and knees, panting heavily while staring dead at the ground. Zeb had to fight off the instinct to leap to his feet and hunt down the assailant, as he realized the first priority in this situation was to make sure Kallus was unharmed, both physically and emotionally. 

“Are you alright?” He asked urgently, placing a hand on Kallus’s back without a thought. 

“I’m fine,” Kallus said coldly, thick white clouds fuming from his mouth as he breathed heavily. 

“I can help you up, if you want?” Zeb nervously offered. 

He was unsure what to do in their current situation. He’d defended Kallus in the past, but there had always been someone to yell at, to fight off. This time whoever had thrown the snowball at him had vanished, and now Zeb was left without a battle to fight for Kallus, and could only do whatever was in his power to comfort him. Worry began to rise as a few moments passed and Kallus said nothing, staring off blankly into the packed snowy floor in front of him. Zeb was wracking his brain for something comforting to say but kept coming up short.

“I just thought- It’s been so long,” Kallus said distantly. The tone shocked Zeb and he pulled his hand from Kallus’s back and knelt down beside him, deciding the best thing to do was listen. 

“What do you mean?” Zeb said slowly and cautiously, and Kallus turned his face to Zeb, hands still firmly planted on the cold floor. 

It had been ages since Zeb had seen such a melancholy look from his best friend. His face was stung red where the snowball had hit him, and as painful as it looked, Zeb realized no physical damage had been done. His heart fluttered as the painful look on Kallus’s face remained, and Kallus moved to his knees and rubbed a hand over his flushed cheek. “I’ve been with the rebellion for so long now. I forget sometimes,” He muttered, looking past Zeb.

Zeb sat his hands in his own lap, wringing them nervously. “Forget what?

“That there are people that still see me for what I used to be.” Kallus groaned as he rubbed his face. “Even after so long.”

“Kal, It’s okay,” Zeb offered lamely, at a loss for what to do or say. 

Kallus looked at him with a sad frustration. “It’s not, Zeb. What I did was so terrible. People they-” Kallus sniffled abruptly. “-they still hate me for it.”

Zeb didn’t take time to think or overthink anything this time and crawled forward to pull Kallus into a gentle embrace. He looked back at Zeb, and it was undeniable that the tears that were welling in his eyes were not from the snowball. Zeb brushed stray dustings of snow that had landed on Kallus’s shoulders then moved to wipe the tears away with the pads of his soft purple hands. 

“Shhhhh. It doesn’t matter,” Zeb whispered calmly. 

“It still does to some people.”

Zeb ignored him for a moment and brushed the last of the loose snow that had collected around his neck and shoulder. “There we go,” he said half to himself, admiring Kallus in his now snow-free coat. Zeb looked back into the pleading eyes. No more tears were threatening to form and he smiled at Kallus softly. 

“Those people don’t matter. You're not the same person you were with the Empire. Besides, that was years ago.”

“Zeb.” Kallus’s voice had regained an air of stoicism.

As he heard Kallus say his name again, Zeb realized how much of a protective instinct had welled inside him. He looked at Kallus’s face, still flushed and red from the impact of the snow. Zeb saw the misery from before was gone, and he was looking at Zeb with something he hoped was an expression of adoration. Zeb realized wanted nothing more than to comfort Kallus.

He continued his speech. “Look at you, you’ve been a rebel for so long now. You’ve done so much for the rebellion since then, and people should appreciate it enough to see that.” He paused for a moment to see Kallus was still looking at him with attentive wonder. “I know I do,” Zeb whispered finally.

Before Zeb could say anything else, Kallus leaned forward and buried his face in Zeb’s chest. Zeb sighed softly as he heard a small sniffle escape from below him. 

Zeb realized how much he believed what he’d said to Kallus. He was truly amazed by how far he’d come and how much he’d changed. Forgiveness was another matter to Zeb, but at the moment, it was one he didn’t consider particularly relevant. The whimpering man he was holding loosely against his chest was so far detached from the bloodthirsty imperial he had met years before, and he was happy for it. Zeb gingerly put a hand on Kallus’s head, and rubbed soft comforting circles in his hair, appreciating how long it had grown and how rebellious it looked and felt. 

After a minute the sniffling stopped, and Kallus peeled himself away as if he’d realized how unabashedly tender the moment between them had become. 

“You ok?” Zeb asked incredulously.

“I think I’m fine.” Kallus nodded. “Sorry,” He mumbled after a moment.

“Nothin’ to be sorry for,” Zeb chuckled awkwardly and rubbed his neck. 

Kallus looked away. “Thanks,” he said slowly and softly, “For saying all of that.” 

“Well, that’s what friends are for,” Zeb said, reminding Kallus of the fact.

“I do feel much better.” He admitted, and their eyes locked. 

The look they shared was one of comfort and trust, and Zeb felt a warm sigh that tingled in his chest. 

“Hm, good,” Zeb said, mostly convinced. “How about some food then? And maybe a drink?” 

Zeb rose to his feet and offered Kallus a hand.

“That sounds agreeable,” Kallus said he grabbed the furry purple hand with his own and jumped to his feet. 

On par with their usual expectations, the food at the mess hall was exceedingly average, and the possibility of a drink quickly became a certainty. Zeb was unsure if it was the warmer dining area, the food, or the alcohol, but he felt incredibly content during their dinner. He spent most of the time slowly gazing around the room or listening to Kallus. His friend had bounced back from their earlier incident and Zeb was happy to see him in good spirits again, talking earnestly and even laughing a couple times as he told Zeb about various social predicaments in the intel division. 

As their meal and drinks were wrapping up, and Kallus still talking, Zeb was staring listlessly at his best friend with a warm glow of satisfaction welling inside him. Before they moved to go their separate ways, to Zeb’s surprise, Kallus pulled him into a quick soft hug, whispering a breathless  _ thank you _ into his ear. Zeb held him close, and for a moment, the connection they had seemed to be made of something much deeper than camaraderie and friendship. 

Zeb sighed. 

_ Even with the war, this still feels pretty peaceful sometimes  _

~

Zeb shuffled onto the  _ Ghost  _ with only the smallest twinge of alcohol still coursing through him. He didn’t want to spend the evening with Kallus completely inebriated and had mostly sobered up by the time they were supposed to part ways. Something had been coursing through his mind all night, and drinks had only intensified the feeling. He walked into the common area and found Hera sitting at the table, sipping something hot and steaming. He waved calmly as he approached, and she met him with a relaxed smile. 

“I just put Jacen down,” She said quietly, taking a sip. 

“How is he?” Zeb asked as he approached the table, keeping the volume down so as to not disturb his sleeping nephew. 

She smiled. “He’s a handful like usual, but manageable. Not as bad as some of the others.” 

“That’s good.” He stood nervously in front of her, wondering briefly if this might be something she didn’t want to talk about. His curiosity and the last bit of alcohol got the better of him and he sighed. “Hera, can I ask you something?” 

“Sure.” She scooted from her place at the center of the table, leaving space for Zeb. “What is it?” she asked as he sat down 

Zeb took a moment before he asked his question. He stretched his hands out on the table in front of him and gave them a look over, considering how different they looked from a human’s, or even from a twi’lek’s, with soft purple striped fur and clawed ends on his four digits. 

“What’s it like?” He looked over from his hands. “Being with a human?” 

Hera’s brow furrowed, “What do you mean?”

“What’s it like, uh, dating one? I guess?” Zeb asked softly but earnestly, his face looking almost as confused as Hera’s 

“Oh.” She took another sip. A soft smile curled over her lips and Zeb was relieved she wasn’t upset at his question “In what way?” she asked curiously. 

Zeb shrugged. “How were things different from others?”

“It’s not the same, of course. When you grow up only around your own species though somethings can be surprises. But that doesn’t make it bad.” 

“What did other people think?” Zeb asked after nodding in agreement. 

“Besides my father? You know what he thought of it.” She chuckled, looking amused. Zeb was happy she was taking the conversation lightly. 

“What about other people?” he ventured, and propped his chin in his hand, and leaned on the table.

Hera took a minute to think, sipping her tea several times before continuing. “Sometimes you forget how different you are. Physically, how you grew up. You know.” 

It didn’t take long for Zeb to realize he, in fact, didn’t know. After Lasan he’d never had any sort of prolonged relationship with anyone, human or otherwise. 

He shrugged indifferently.

“It’s well,” she stopped again for a second to think. “It’s actually really nice to have someone who knows things are different, but still appreciates them.”

Zeb gave a short nod, his head still propped in his hand. “That sounds nice,” he said idly. 

“Zeb,” She looked over to him with a bemused smile on her face, “Why are you asking?” 

Before he could even respond, Zeb thought of Kallus and winced. Part of him deep down guessed they had been slowly dancing around something akin to a romantic relationship for quite a while now, possibly a year or more. It was only recently, within the last few days, that he realized he’d grown tired of their non-committal and unspoken bond.

He looked at Hera, and she saw the look of uncertainty in his eyes, and that he was unprepared to admit to himself, let alone another, the emotional predicament he seemed to have found himself in. Before he could speak she changed the subject, much to his relief. 

“I meant what I said earlier. Don’t pretend to be a human just so you can try and date one.” 

“I know, I know.” Zeb shook his head and laughed. 

She looked back at him seriously but softened with a kind smile. “Besides, Your lasat self is charming enough as it is.

Zeb sat up straight. Her words had caught his attention “You think so?” he asked hopefully. 

She took another sip. “Of course,” she said as if it was entirely obvious. “You're perfect how you are. Anyone who’s worth it will think the same.” 

Zeb gave her a hearty grin. “Thanks, Hera. I’m sure I’ll figure it out.”’

Zeb noticed Hera was sitting with pursedlips, staring into what was left of her tea. The look she had seemed entirely amused, and bordered on outright humorous laughter. 

“What?” He grunted, feeling slight annoyance over the wave of self-conscious observation. 

“Nothing,” she said, feigning innocence. 

Zeb gave her an exasperated frown and rolled his eyes just slightly. 

The last bits of alcohol in his system coaxed a yawn from him, and Hera watched him with an amused smile. Zeb noticed she seemed to have a prickling curiosity about his situation, but for the evening he was both too nervous and too tired to continue. He rose from his spot at the table and looked down at Hera, who raised an eyebrow. 

“I’m zonked, It was kind of a long day.” He scanned around the room as he thought about the incident earlier. He yawned. “I’m gonna get some sleep.” 

“Okay, goodnight Zeb.”

“Night.” 

The door to the common area swished shut as Zeb left for his room. Hera took another sip from her cooling tea and sighed quietly to herself.

_ Finally _ , she thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact! the official name for Zeb's fancy snow boots is: Cold Reducing Outer Covering Steppers


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovely art by Bro-rifles  
> https://brorifles.tumblr.com/image/644313900746211328


End file.
